The Benditees Ameba

My Roller Girl

2006-09-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

The Sirens in my Head

2006-09-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday evening I was watching one of my all time favorite movies, Kill Bill I and II on TNT.
In the movie, the Bride emerges from a coma and decides it's time for payback ... with a vengeance! Having been gunned down by her former boss and his deadly squad of international assassins, it's a kill-or-be-killed fight she didn't start but is determined to finish!

The same siren of rage that sounds off in Thurman's character's head when she spots her enemies sounds off in my head every once in a while. Although I wasn't shot, buried alive nor attacked by a thousand Yakuzan ninjas, I was wronged a year ago by a group of greedy bastards, stealing every ounce of credit of my work and lined their pockets with all the money it has generated, shutting me out completely.

The good thing is I'm a creative person and I can build and move forward without feeding on the creativity of others, unlike these folks. I can move on to new cool things that inspire me... free from the weight, paranoia and guilt of guarding a stash of gold that isn't all mine. Although they haven't really left their dark and slimy cave, they will... so beware of fluid people who give you false images of who they really are.

Roller Derby: It's a contact sport

2006-09-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of my wife, known by Roller Derby fans as Betsy Bones. Saturday the Renegade Rollergirls made a huge splash, selling out their event and putting on a great show. It was so fun to see the look on people's faces when fights broke out. I felt as if I was at a hockey game and a crash up derby and speed way.

Folks this stuff is entertainment. I highly recommend that you attend one or all of the monthly exhibitions in the future.

Am I worried about my Shannon getting hurt? What if she gets injured? Well... yes I am a little worried about her hurting her self or someone causing her to get hurt. But in my opinion that's the risk you take in all sports. If she was a snowboarder, even if she was a marathon runner, I'd feel the same way. That's where the sport comes into it, knowing your skills, limitations and ability is key to athleticism and avoiding injury. She walked away with a bruise on her leg... a nasty one at that.

Anybody else go?

Never Do This Downtown Bend....

2006-09-15T16:04:00.000-07:00

With so much construction going on it is very important that you don't run around, screaming "look OUT," while covering your head.

You will cause wide spread panic.

*Not that I did this or anything... I'd just guess that'd happen.

Rest In Peace WOXY

2006-09-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

Thank you Woxy for giving us the future of rock and roll. I will miss you.

Goodbye Bend Bloggers

2006-09-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Good things don't come to an end, they just re begin.

Thank you to all who have read my blog over the past year. I've got great news! My dream of starting a band in Bend is becoming a reality. I've officially started a project last night with Chris, a very talented local musician/filmmaker.

Together we have about 7 original songs to start working on in his garage. We have decided to document our rock & roll journey from day one in an independently produced film to be released in early 2007.

We've named our band, KouseFly, an indie/folk/psychedelic band.

I have created a new blog: kousefly.blogspot.com
There you can read about the progress of our documentary, watch some clips, learn about our music project and everything else in between.

We also have a band MySpace page: www.myspace.com/kousefly
There you can listen to our music and see our live schedule.

Thanks again everyone. I'm looking forward into reading your blogs and hope that you stop by and read about, watch and listen to KouseFly.

ROCK ON!

Great L-Day weekend

2006-09-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was great. We went hiking and then later, thanks to a couple of friends who work at Mt. Bachelor, we enjoyed a trip up to the summit after a very good lunch and free beer at Sunrise lodge. My dog, Charlie, rode up to the top of the mountain on my lap. He was surprisingly very calm. People were shocked to see a dog on the top of the mountain. One woman who was riding the chair lift in the opposite direction yelled, "hello puppy!" I said back to her, "how did you know that my name is Puppy?"
Sunday we had a few friends over for a BBQ. It was very fun. Cooked up some hot dogs and cheeseburgers. That day I learned that WOXY is going off the air. What am I going to do? Anybody know of any good Alternative/Indie Rock online radio stations out there? Monday I layed around like a dog and wrote another song. I was sad to learn that day about Steve Irwin's untimely death. So sad, he's such a hero to so many kids.

What's in a Name?

2006-09-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

So many bands out there are fighting to get noticed by fans. Yo La Tengo, out with a popular song, Pass the Hatchet, which in my opinion is drivin' or joggin' music, came up with a very unique way of getting their name out by simply coming up with a very unique name for their album;

I'm Not Afraid of You and I will Kick Your Ass

The music is great, but I have to say that the album name is a little more catchy. The band started a website that invites people to say "I'm not afraid of you and I will kick your ass," and they post it on this site that features a wall of fans.

*********
Has anyone heard Pillar of Salt from the Thermals? Right on Portland, Oregon rockers! Thanks for keeping Oregon on the indie map.

Kino Eye

2006-08-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

My all time favorite documentary was released in the 1920's in Russia. Man with a Movie Camera is an extraordinary film essay by Dziga Vertov, revealing a very unique look at Russian life, demonstrating the magic of film making and suggests its revolution would destroy stage performance.

Today the music is recomposed by a group of performers who play music while the silent film plays on screen, the same way it was done in the 1920's when film didn't have a soundtrack.

The Alloy Orchestra recomposed the original musical score with modern synthesizer sounds and grooves, sparking a very original soundtrack. They have an unusual combination of percussion and state-of-the-art electronics, giving the Orchestra the ability to create any sound imaginable. Utilizing a "rack of junk" and electronic synthesizers, the group generates beautiful music in a spectacular variety of styles.

I'm inspired by their approach and would like to cover one of their songs in the future.

My Picks This Week

2006-08-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

1) Wilco - War on War
2) Alexi Murdoch - Woxy performance
3) Midlake - Roscoe
4) Tap Tap - 10,000 Thoughts
5) Beck - Nausea

Calloused Finger-Tips

2006-08-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

I've been working on two original songs for the past few weeks for future solos, practicing singing and playing at the same time. Keeping rhythm without a drummer, remembering the lyrics & their timing, strumming the guitar correctly and finding my way around the fret board without looking is all proving to be quite a challenge. It's also amazing how much thought goes into creating a song featuring only one singer, playing an acoustic guitar. You are limited by how much you can do, working with two instruments, your voice and guitar. I've turned to Alexi Murdoch for inspiration. This Alternative/Indie/Folk artist from the UK has a wonderful grasp on the craft.

I can't wait until I get enough material to perform with.

Tackling Fears and Climbing Mountains

2006-08-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

I am very proud of my little family. My wife conquered her fears and led the pack in an expedition roller derby event on cracked and slanted blacktop. Go Skull Rollers! There were a couple girls who ended up with ripped up fishnets and road rash.

I’m also proud of my dog, Charlie. Yesterday we went for a hike up the Green Lakes Trailhead off of Century Drive, leading us to the base of the South Sister. Charlie is a small dog, a little under a foot tall. His short legs worked hard and he completed the 10 mile hike!

Thank you Jack White...

2006-08-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

for the fiber optic Main Stream that you gave me.

My Picks this Week

2006-08-23T15:22:00.000-07:00

1) The Raconteurs - Hands
2) Muse - Supermassive Blackhole
3) Man Man - Black Mission Goggles
4) Golden Smog - Another Fine Day
5) The Foundry Field Recordings - Buried Beneath the Winter Frames

A Band in Creation

2006-08-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

A concept of an Indie-geared rock band based in Bend was created last night by three aspiring musicians.

I attended a meet-n-greet event with two potential band members last night at Deschutes Brewery's pub downtown Bend. I was a little nervous. I think we all get a little jumpy meeting new folks, especially people who we don't know what they look like. I'm a nervous chatter, meaning I have a tendency to talk a lot and very fast.

They both arrived and we chatted about ourselves for a bit, explaining where we are from, what we're about and what our music history is. So, we're going for it! Two male acoustic guitarist/backing vocalist with a female lead singer/songwriter. We all agreed to start off with a couple covers to find out how we work with each other. As of right now we're going to practice unamplified, without a drummer. We're going start off with a harmony approach.

If things work out we've go a long road ahead, developing our sound, adding a drummer, maybe keys and everything else that makes a band, which is a helluva-lot.

Back from the Beach

2006-08-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at the coast. We got to air out from all the smoke from the fires and cool off from heat in Central Oregon. Everything, aside the heavy traffic on 101, was fantastic. When I heard that the rest of the country was suffering from record high temps I quickly changed my complaining from, "man it's friggin cold" to "the weather couldn't be better."

The Oregon Coast Aquarium is a must see. If you're a sushi fan, Sada's is probably the best that I've ever had. That's coming from someone who lived in Japan for three years and made it a point to find the best of the best when I was there. It's located between The Wax Museum and Ripley's Believe it or Not.

We went to Lincoln City and had a storybook casino moment. I split the Zeroes on the Roulette table with our last five dollars of the twenty we were going to spend. It landed on 00 and we won $90. We took the money and ran.

Jen, we didn't have a chance to go to Shark's. Thanks for the suggestion though!

I'm meeting two potential indie band members tonight, discussing our musical interests and if we'd like to collaberate on a project or not.

ARRRGH!

2006-08-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

Yo Hoi there matie! We had a great time on the coast. Coolest place on planet Oregon. ARRRRRHHHHg!

My picks this week

2006-08-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

Here's my top 5 Indie rock picks this week.

1) Goldfrap -REmix of the Flaming Lips W.A.N.D song
2) Ratatat - Wildcat
3) The Rapture - Get Myself Into It (Disco MIX)
4) Silver Sun Pickups - Lazy Eye
5) Say Hi To Your Mom - Angels and Darlas

Ready to shift tides

2006-08-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

We're heading to the Oregon coast tomorrow. Seems like ages since the last time I went there. We are heading to Newport. I've got a free pass for us to check out the Oregon Coast Aquarium. We heard about a great sushi restaurant that we're definitely going to it check out. Any suggestions for the Newport area?

I'm feeling pretty optimistic right now with my musical endeavors. I'm hesitant about giving details because I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say next week I'm going to meet up with some cool folks who share the same musical interests and aspirations...and leave it at that.

I learned a very good lessons in the past when I wrote my first fiction novel: If you are going to create an artistic product, take your time, remain focused and take step one before you take step ten - then introduce your masterpiece to the world with pride. So many people associate "I'm writing a book" in the same light as "I'm running a marathon." At the time of writing it, I was more focused on finishing the marathon than I was running in it. Sure I finished the race, but I didn't end in the position my efforts deserved.

I'm making it a point not to run that way while in my musical marathon. Just takin' one step at a time and enjoying the run.

All Aboard!

2006-08-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

We made some new friends a couple of weeks ago while attending a friends wedding in Eugene. I was happy to receive a call from them, telling us that they were planning to go rock climbing at Smith Rock and wanted to meet up with us at Terrebonne Depot. We met up with them and their climbing buddies Saturday evening.

The food and drinks there were very good. The inside of The Depot has a more urban atmosphere than you'd imagine to be in Terrebonne. Although we didn't experience it, we were told that the trains rushes by quite often. The environment was very down to earth, it seemed like a comfortable place to come and stop in for lunch or dinner on the way to or from Bend. I can see why climbers love this place.

The building would be an outstanding venue to play and listen to music. It's very open and inviting. Speaking of: my week definitely starts of with a shimmer of hope that I might actually be jamming with a band. I'll be meeting with two singer/songwriters, hopefully during the same time, to discuss practice session and developing a band from the ground up! Coolest thing is, from the get-go, all three of us like the Shins and other indie geared bands.

The Most Disgusting Mocha Ever

2006-08-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

I stood in line this morning to get some coffee at a downtown shop and the man in front placed an order that shocked everyone behind the counter and made me want to puke.

He order a White Mocha and cover his mouth and whispered, "with an extra shot." Then he whispered, "add peach flavoring into it and plenty of whip cream."

GROSS! Bluck... patooi!

DUDE... What ever gets your follicles tingling, I guess.

I ordered a dark roast coffee.

My Picks

2006-08-11T09:00:00.001-07:00

I'm going to start posting my top five favorite songs of the week.

1- Band of Horses - Funeral (Seattle, WA)
2 - SilverSun Pickups - Well thought out... (LA, Cal)
3- Mew - The Zookeeper's Boy (Denmark)
3- Heartless Bastards - All this Time (Cincinnati, OH)
5-Oh No! Oh My! - Jane is Fat (Austin, TX)

Call out to Mystery Indie Rocker

2006-08-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

This is a note to the anonymous dude who posted a sign of interest in playing some music with me. He mentioned that he might be interested in finding another vocalist/guitarist for potential Indie rock sessions.

This fella is interested in these bands right now---- “bands like Midlake, Human Television, David & The Citizens, Band of Horses and Brendan Benson.” WHERE did ya go? Since your last postings I have had a response from a female vocalist who is also interested in developing a local Indie project. She’s into Indie electro pop.

Imagine the possibilities if we found a percussionist and/or keyboardist. We’d have ourselves a band.

My Wife the Roller Derby Queen

2006-08-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

She joined a roller derby club and I couldn't be prouder. She is in the Renegade Rollergirls Club and her teams name is the Skull Rollers and they asked me to make up a team logo. I made up this logo and they seem to like it.

What do you think about the logo?

Bright Idea

2006-08-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

So what's the deal with all those cars driving up to the top of Pilot Butte during an electrical storm? Did you guys miss that day in 8th grade science class explaining that lightening strikes the highest point?

In fact, we saw a nice bolt zap the top, probably blinding ever one up there. Shortly after the river of cars changed direction back down, I'm guessing with a lot of dudes with bruised arms from their lady's fist.

Sounds Ironic?

2006-08-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

I don't get it. Bend commercial builders can begin jackhammering the pavement at 11:30pm The street sweepers can make as much noise they want at 3am. Bend Garbage can empty every big dumpster it wants to in the wee hours. Trains can blast their horns all night long.

But musicians, with thousands of fans craving more when it's finally dark and the stage lights are delivering their true effect, have to unplug their amps and say goodbye at 10pm on the dot because of the noise ordinance?

Likin' Silversun Pickup

2006-08-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Anybody in Portland see the Silversun Pickups last week at the Doug Fir? The more I listen to them the more I like them.

I thought the lead singer was the girl in the band. He has a very unique vocal approach that sounds like Concrete Blonde.

That lounge also seems pretty cool. I'm going to try talking Shannon into going there in November to see Hot Chip.

Truth Revealed

2006-08-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

Okay... I'm not actually from Bend. I was born on the planet, ironically, named Globe. My dad, mother and brother are posing with me in the mid 70's(I grew out of my chimp stage early).

Not exactly the Doc's orders

2006-08-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

When somebody asks you what you did last night, how often can you reply: Oh, when I came down from my nitrous oxide high I had a martini while getting a high-five from about 10 models.

I know I should've been on the couch, soaking up a gallon of water after my dental adventure, but what the hell, I knew I was going to be in pain today anyway, so why not get a hangover also?

I had fun hanging out with some close friends. Had some wine and then watched a fashion show at the martini bar. I got away with howling at the models like a sailor at a strip club. Man - the things I get away with....

Smells Like Nitrous Oxide

2006-08-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to the dentist this afternoon and I'm freaking out.

I remember once when I was a teenager I went to a children's dentist. Unfortunately, I was too big for the chair. Above me was a small television screen with cartoons. At the time of my visit, the Smurfs was on and Gargamel had captured Handy smurf.

I needed Nitrous Oxide because I was getting my canines pulled to make room for my braces that would haunt me throughout high school.

They pulled the perfectly healthy teeth from my head and I began to laugh at Papa Smurf, wearing his silly red outfit, saving Handy from certain death.

I hope Papa Smurf comes and saves me this afternoon and brings me some N20.

Covering the Pixies

2006-07-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

I decided to add another cover song to my personal set list from one of my all-time favorite bands, the godfathers of Indie music, the Pixies. I love their sound, uniqueness and impact on the music world.

I'm learning how to play Here Comes Your Man on my acoustic. While learning the song over the weekend I quickly discovered that it's a very complex to pick, strum and sing at the same time. It's easy to sing during the strumming part but very hard to sing during the trademark picking section of the chorus. It kind of feels like juggling knifes on a tight-rope, requiring balancing and precision with the split focus on two different instruments, my voice and the guitar.

I'm starting off by focusing my attention on the guitar part first. I think I got it. There are a few tricky double notes in there, but once you learn where they are it's smooth sailing. The signing part is a little tricky during the chorus, it took me a few times to learn where Frank Black chimes in.

This is going to be a very cool song to cover as a solo on acoustic. I'm excited to get the whole piece down. I want to have at least 20 songs down before I approach a band to be their frontperson. A long... Long ways to go from now, hopefully by early spring I'll be ready.

My New Favorite Band

2006-07-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

Wolfmother Rocks!!!!

Black Sabbath is reborn down unda.

Fire...Fire on the Mountain

2006-07-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Cough...Cough...Sniff..(spitting)...Cough (rubbing eyes)

Wow. Smoky out there. The mountains are barely visible from the fires up in the forests.

Didn't end up backstage Ween on Tuesday, but we had a friggin' great time. They really did a good job rockin' and shockin' the Les Schwab Amp. Never thought I'd see the day. Had a great time hangin with Luka and her hubby. Hopefully it opens some new doors for other acts to come to town. Most of the artist say that they are surprised by the audiences they encounter in Bend.

Cough...Cough...Sniff...(spitting)...Cough (rubbing eyes)

I've got a long way to go before playin' live solo gigs but the first step was taken, I started writing my first song yesterday. I'm writing my tunes the same way I write a story. Starting out with a title then developing a story that rides along the theme of the title. My first song is titled, Ruthless Apprehension.

Dean Ween at the Dirty D

2006-07-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

We got a call last night from a couple, the same ones who scored us tonight's VIP/backstage wEEn tickets, that Dean Ween was chillin' with his entourage at the Dirty D&D, downtown Bend. Since we live close we decided to go. He was sitting at the center table and we sat at the bar.

We decided to wait a while and do the cool thing...buy the man a drink and leave him alone to enjoy his night in Bend. We got him a shot of Patron. When it was delivered we didn't turn around, we just kept on drinking our beer, which turned out to be a good deal cause it was $3 micro Monday.

When we got up to go home I turned around giving Dean the horns and he quickly returned the gesture, thanking us for the shot of one of the smoothest tequillas around.

He'll be cranking up his amp tonight at Les Schwab amphitheater while his band will shock the crap out of this very conservative area. I'm interested to see if they tone down their traditional performance of profanity.

Road Rage

2006-07-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

This weekend we drove to Eugene over the McKenzie Pass from Bend to attend a college friend's wedding. We had a wonderful time. Stayed at a cool B&B and did some wine tasting.

It's true... Heat and long distance driving don't mix with temperaments. Generally, I'm a calm driver, but if you are driving slow in front of me, then speed up so I can't pass you in when I can, either on long straight aways or passing zones, expect to be ridden by a mad man.

It sucked. This chump in front of us obviously wanted to be in front of the driving pack. Every time a passing opportunity came up, the car's speed strangely crept up to 65 miles an hour. It would've been fine if they continued on, leaving the rest of us behind, but when they were out of the passing zone they slowed down to under the speed limit.

Now I remember what I'm missing by riding my bike to work and carpooling.

Backstage WEEN!!

2006-07-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

Holy dung-beetle from the clouds above! YOU friggin' MISSED me this time!! Ha ha, I was surprised to read this morning that our favorite concert going couple scored us all VIP tickets and backstage passes to WEEEEEEN.

I'm stunned and estatic about the news.

Last time I went to the concert, I went to see The Flaming Lips in a gorrilla suit. Any suggestions for the Ween Brother's encounter?

Burnt Beer Belly Weekend

2006-07-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend! Went to Prineville Reservoir and met up with some good friends for a camping/boating weekend. Loved it! The short vacation reminded me of when I was a kid when every summer we'd go to through the Oregon Outback to get to the uncrowded side of the water. Now it's paved and a little more crowded, but we were the only ones on our particular part of the bank.

It's nice now that we got the camping bug that we now have an air mattress to sleep on. Sleeping on rocks and twigs doesn't hurt as much. Our dog, Charlie, is not the best camper, restless while we're inside the tent and he has learned how to unzip it while we're asleep.

He also got over his fear of swimming. I might be part to blame for that, chucking him into the river. I know...I know...I'm easing him back into it, don't go calling animal abuse on me.

Our friends were very gracious when we decided to stay another night on Saturday...Sharing their food with us.

Over all, fun times proven by a trophy-burnt beer belly.

I turned 34 today...

Artists helping Artists

2006-07-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

So I earlier mentioned I had a modeling opportunity for a local stock photography company named obsidian Stock.

This photo was taken by a very talented photographer Lance, owner of the company. He arranged his friends to meet up at Volcano Vineyard member's bar in downtown Bend to develop both stock and portfolio material. The other photographer, Simone, who is also an owner of Obsidian Stock, was also taking photos.

I decided it was a golden opportunity for me to get some shots for future use in my press kit, web site and posters when I'm actively seeking gigs in local venues as a musician. I asked them if I could bring my new guitar and they agreed, saying that it would create a scene of live entertainment while the other folks drank wine.

Now if people want to buy a photo of a guy playing guitar at a wine bar, I'm their man.

The funny thing is I literally pulled this guitar out of the box before the shoot and was simply trying to remember some of the chords I memorized from my years of playing in the past. The guitar is a gift from my lovely wife and dad, probably the best gift I ever got for a birthday present.

Baldy and the Full Moon

2006-07-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

After work my wife and I decided to go to our favorite BBQ restaurant, Baldy's. "Baldy," has won close to fifty awards for some of the best ribs and sauce in the nation. But you'd never know it because he's out taking drink orders and pouring water for his patrons. We sat outside on the side porch where my good friend Johnny was playing drums for a local folk band named Little Fish. The band and Baldy did a great job taking it's Bend diners to Texas.

Johnny is a great drummer. He's the jam band/Dead Head type but often veers to bluegrass and folk music. On the side he's going to practice with the bassist to do some Jam Band grooves. "People would never go out and pay for a band like that here," he joked.

I'm not so sure about that theory. Maybe at the local motorcycle bar or at one of the beer pubs on the west or east side.

With a full belly we went home and I sat on my porch playing my guitar as the moon rose. Every once in a while a person would point up at me on my balcony. I finally got a Wilco song down and am jumping next into the Jayhawks. I'm glad that I am doing this on my own again. No rush. No anger for missing a fret or key. No expectations. No drama. Just me and the full moon.

Okay... so that SUCKED

2006-07-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

I arrived a little early to practice last night and played till' bout 12:30 in the morning. They weren't that friendly from the get-go. Never seemed to get on the good side and felt like I was in the way.

So here it is...the band that invited me to rehearse with them has decided to cancel their invitation to me for future practice sessions, saying that I'm stalling their progress, frustrating them. I'm not upset about it at all, it just ended an unnecessary streak of frustration on my and their part. But we're cool.

The good thing is from that journey I learned what types of songs I sound good at. So it gave me a good direction to move forward with. I'm quickly learning that the personal dynamic of the band members is a huge factor...almost the sole driving factor of how things work out on stage. So I've set out to learn songs that really mean something to me. I'm covering all the songs of a disk that Shannon sent me after we first met. Maybe after I learn those songs I find some local folks with similar musical taste.

Meanwhile, I've posted another ad on Bend's Craigslist.

My dog has a MySpace Page

2006-07-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

I was surprised to find out that my dog, Charlie, has created his own MySpace page. So that's what he does when we're not home. I hope he doesn't get stalked by some Internet preditor.

The Rock Porno

2006-07-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

I realized yesterday that if Rock n' Roll was a porno, I'd be the fluffer, in charge of getting the action ready but not the star of the show.

But for now I'm fine with it. You see...The band I auditioned for a couple weeks ago are very happy to have me around, belting out the lyrics, keeping them in timing and cuing them on solos and outros. They told me that they are still looking and to not take it personal. I kind of did when they said I'm good enough for practice but they are looking for someone else for a live gig, but I realized that this is a golden opportunity for me to learn how to work with a band without the lead singer, the-band-wouldn't-survive-without-me factor.

I'm going focus on getting better and better at singing and playing my new guitar. Later I'll start my own thing, giving someone else the "fluffer" duties.

Next practice is this Sunday evening.

Whatta Surprise!

2006-07-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like a little kid! My wife and my dad got together and got me a guitar for my upcoming birthday. I'm so excited. The last time I had a guitar was when I was in the Navy. I found a guitar laying in a gomi pile in Japan(instead of garage sales, they put their junk in a pile on the street and if nobody picks it up, the Japanese government picks it up and re-sells it). I loved the guitar. It really helped me escape from the dry military life and delivered me to a very colorful world of music.

Now I have a brand new guitar of my own. Last night I remembered some of the chords I learned before and I checked out songs that I can learn in the future.

Last night I had the opportunity to show off my new guitar. My friends at Obsidian Stock Photography were taking some photos of the new winery in Bend called Volcano Vineyards...Great wine and great shop. We gathered around the bar while the photographers took stock photos. They also took a few photos of me playing the guitar, as if I was the entertainer for the wine bar. In reality, you won't see that happening anytime in the near future, but perhaps in the distant.

Bicycles Invade Bend

2006-07-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

This 4th of July I was flying around in my mini-helicopter (very similar to the one in Mad Max) over downtown Bend, Oregon and I spotted this flock of bicycles forming a ultra street possie, of which both surprised and inspired me.
I maneuvered my mini-copter to do a tight circle in the sky and caught the attention of a few bikers, then they all began to cheer when I took my hands off the steering wheel and covered my eyes. They all agreed to my mega-phone cry to stop and pose for this photo.

I landed near the courthouse and was very happy when I reviewed the photos.

Could this be a sign?

2006-06-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

I'm practicing this song from the Black Keys. The funny thing is the audience featured in the video will probably be the same type of audience that I sing to when I hit the Bend, Oregon music scene. Old and retired people.

Looking at INDIE from Back of Line

2006-06-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

I discovered that there is a local indie label here in Bend named Piggyback Records. It's a brother and sister operation that took over a house on five acres, they converted it into a studio and offices "surrounded by sage, coyotes, and an awesome view of the Cascade Mountains," reads their web site.

Now the siblings are out discovering, producing, promoting and distributing music from Bend based bands. They currently have seven bands signed. One of which I feel a little bad for because they have to break up and reform with another drummer. It's a sad story. Blame Amy has done an excellent job getting their music out into the community's eyes and have developed good songs that they plan on touring with to promote their new album with Piggyback. One fella sold his house, they all beefed up their credit card holdings, secured leave of absences with their employers and acquired passports for a tour in Europe, but the drummer had to quit because he didn't want to leave his kid and fiance behind, leaving the other band members in a state of "what the fuck do we do now?"

I can see how this issue really hurts the hopes of a lot of up-and-coming bands. Looking at my own life and aspirations, it raises my own questions of what I'd do in that situation. Since I'm married and have a good job that I wouldn't want to put at risk, I'd take the family-first stance as well. I'd rather have the financial and reputation security of a well known one like Warner Bros that supported both my family and artistic pursuit, but...what are the odds of that???? The fact is I'm four-hundred walking miles away from even singing at a local watering hole, but over time this may become a senario that I'm forced to deal with. Looking at it positively, I still have odds, maybe three-million to one, and not a zero chance in hell's basement that I could smartly develop into something a big label would be interested in backing.

I made the cut!

2006-06-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

I knew I did something, either very right or very wrong, when the drummer behind me machine gunned the band to the final cord of D.

The immediate smiles from the band gave me a relieving sense that what I just did - was a good thing. I had just finished 10am Automatic by the Black Keys and was still shaking from when I lost of control of my body while I maintained full control of my vocal cords and shouts.

Wow! Whatta way to start things off. The other song didn't go as well because of a combination of me not knowing the lyrics to some of the other songs and me learning my first rock n' roll lesson, if you're going to go all out - bring some water to cool down the pipes.

So...I'm in! Now it's time to practice, practice - drink some water, practice and then practice some more.

Audition on Sunday

2006-06-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

*Update
The Band members I met with last light are giving me a chance to audition for them Sunday night. I've got to memorize three songs from their cover list, two from The Black Keys and one of my choice.

Wish me luck!

School of Rock

2006-06-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

I met up with the band setup last night around nine at a place called Central Oregon School of Rock. I walked into the old western looking building off of OB Riley Road on Bend's southwestern side of town and saw a hardwood floor, stage, old theater seats and a few people setting up gear.

Turns out the place was a non-profit school for kids and adults who want to rock. I met the owner and he gave me a tour while the band was setting up. "Right now the live rock n' roll music scene is horrible," said the man, "but wait five years when these kids are older, this town is going to be on the musical map and compete with Portland!"

It was inspiring.

I really didn't get a chance to learn the lyrics, so a majority of the time I stood and listen to the band play. The drummer has wild, afro-looking gray hair that reaches for everywhere around his head. He wore a camouflage visor and had on a whisky shirt.

I can see why this band needs someone with the lyrics, not caring how he/she sings. They get their cues from the singer. I'm not sure if it'll go anywhere or you'll see me on stage at a local pub with these guys. I'm still going to take singing lessons. This'd help me develop stage performance and continue on the long road ahead.

Have a great weekend!

Thars du plank....now jump ARRRRGH!

2006-06-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed how fast and unpredictable the tide is during my quest in these rock n' roll waters. Yesterday evening I stopped by to meet Tim, the lead guitarist of a band he is piecing together in Bend.

I was picking up a cd of songs that he wants to cover, hoping "to develop tightness with the band members with the inspiration to develop songs in the genre," he said over the phone.

I didn't know what to think of Tim. Over the phone he had a southern draw and a deep voice. In my mind's eye I pictured a big guy with long hair with tatoos, kind of like Rob Zombie. When I met him in person he looked more like Philip Seymour Hoffman.

He gave me the CD that had the music from The Who, The Black Keys, Buzzcocks and The Kinks. My first impression of Tim was great. Not quite sure what his impression on me was though. But it was good enough to invite me to a practice session with his band tonight at 9pm in some industrial park.

Tim told me to expect wierd things from the bassist. "He likes to hit his head against the wall when he's angry," he said.

Um...Yikes!?

Craigslist gets me another gig

2006-06-21T07:04:00.000-07:00

So, after yesterday's oust from a potential band I decided to lick my wounds and find a professional singing coach in Bend. Almost immediately I was contacted by another band who are practicing at a rented space and need a singer to gell the musicians together.

I told him I sang The Cure's "Just Like Heaven," and it sounded just like hell. He said he didn't give a shit. Just needs someone with the rock and roll heart and desire. I'm picking up their demo cd today and will be meeting with them on Thursday night.

Yesterday I had a very unique experience, thanks to a good friend, to go to a practice session of the Bond Brothers. Wow! Those fellas are tight! They're coming out with a new album and are opening for Super Diamond soon. They want to get to the level of opening for the big shows at Les Schwab Amphitheater. I can see em' doing it.

Rock n' Roll Bud Nipping

2006-06-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

I was cut this AM from a possible band set up. I'm actually quite fine with it. It was way too soon for me to give an audition (last Sunday) without ample practice and vocal development. I'm happy; however, that the folks nipped the bud quickly. To me, it's an experience that I want to enjoy exploring, not living up to standards that existed before me, in this case the 80's. This gives me room to grow and look for another band, maybe start my own from the ground level.

I've learned to appreciate rejection. I can't tell you how many times magazine and book editors turned down my spec. manuscripts. It sucked. I began posting the rejection letters on a wall and valued it as my "wall of shame."

I got a big break though and I poured all of my effort, writer development and spirit into that one big project, ultimately launching me into the world I desperately was trying to be a part of. Rather than being a writer who was trying to break into the industry, I was viewed as a "find" and an "undiscovered, talented writer."

In a way, that's exaclty how I want my singer/song-writer path to go.

Onto the next gig.

Blue Monday

2006-06-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

I had a great, relaxing weekend. Shannon and I kicked off the weekend on Friday by trying out a chicken recipe. Last month, Shannon went to Portland with friends and brought back a bag of Lime, Lemon grass, Pepper with Peanuts. They were really, really hot - especially when you accidentally crunched down one of those small red peppers. Yeeouch! Shannon picked out (most) of the peppers and poured them in the food processor and poured peanut oil while it was in motion. We coated the spicy peanut butter on chicken skewers and threw them on the BBQ. The heat from the grill tamed the spiciness! They were awesome.

Saturday was very fun. Went to the Saturday market and we went to our friends' wedding. The weather was beautiful and reception was fantastic. It was celebrated at Aspen Hall, where Shannon and I tied the not last September. Brought back a lot of very fun memories.

Sunday was also great. We started off the day with some French Toast, hashbrowns and turkey bacon. Call our fathers and wished them a happy Father's day. We went to Home Depot and got some Herbs and plants for the deck and inside. Stopped by my step-father's house to wish him a happy Father's day and tried out KFC's Layered chicken bucket...yuuhh hu hu hummy,

I also had my singing audition on Sunday. Boy, that was humbling. You never really know what you sound like until you listen to yourself through a microphone and monitor. I've got a lot of work to do. My problems were, timing, and staying in key. I mask my inability to reach the higher notes by signing it with a raspy growl.

I'm definitely going to seek out professional training for vocal development. I really like Eric's set up. He has all the equipment he needs to do weddings and events. Very extensive and impressive. He spent a majority of his life in the music scene and was quite popular in Colorado, playing keys for Men About Town.

We are shooting for being gig-ready by next winter. Plenty of time for me to develop my pipes, get my rhythm and shoot for a dream.

Today it's Monday. I'm interested in learning New Order's song Blue Monday so I pasted the lyrics below for my own use.

How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you've got your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel
Tell me now, How do I feel

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more
And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today

I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now, how should I feel

Now I stand here waiting...
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel
When your heart grows cold

Cartoon Weekend

2006-06-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Shannon and I went to the Sunriver Wine Festival and met up with some very good friends. While getting ripped on some good Oregon wine I decided to have my mug sketched out by a cartoon artist. It turned out great. I put it up on my banner on this blog.

On the music front. I'm excited to join a band called Wretchro. They, two other musicians in the band, haven't heard me sing yet. They love my attitude though. They told me to memorize the following tunes:
The Cure: Just Like Heaven
The White Stripes: Seven Nation Army
Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated
Billy Idol-Mony Mony, White Wedding
Violent Femmes: Blister in the Sun
Nina/SevenSeconds-99LuftBalloons
U2: Desire

I hope I don't dissapoint them.

We are focusing on creating one original song a month. Then covers will be filler rather than the show.

This is sweet.

The Superfluous Decade

2006-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

What are people going to be talking about during the 00 decade? I remember when I was in the service, using the military clock, we coined midnight as “balls,” and 12:30 as “balls 30,” mainly because most dudes would rather be kicked in the balls before they stood the midnight watches.

I’ll tell you right now…there’re a lot of people who’d rather be kicked in the balls than standing watch during the 00 decade. My tour to the persian gulf wasn’t anything like this.

Why Superfluous? Well, because we have too much of same friggin’ thing, now including numbers in dates, like today 06-06-06.

Let’s see….where was I during the first 6/10ths of this “Superfluous” Decade?

On 01-01-01 – I was hung over up after a crazy night out on the town, celebrating New Year’s eve in the Dirty “D,” downtown Bend. Depressed and lonely.

On 02-02-02 – I was unemployed and hung over after a crazy night out on the town, celebrating my latest unemployment check in dive bar outside of in Scottsdale, Arizona.

On 03-03-03 – I was working for Home Depot as a “Night Stalker (er I mean Night Stocker).” Didn’t meet Shannon yet…but soon both of our lives would be on a collision course.

On 04-04-04 – Shannon and I were having a fiesta with our first four-legged child, Sage, who by the way had way too much tequila that night.

On 05-05-05 – I was poor as hell, working tons of freelance gigs, working for a film company who'd later betray me and working for KTVZ. Shannon and I were saving every crumb for our upcoming wedding.

On 06-06-06 – I wrote this, thinking about all the devilish things that I did in the past and my future as a rock and roll star. I’m happily married and finally feel that superfluous is exactly what I need in my life right now.

Who knows what will happen on July 7th, 2007

Audition

2006-06-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

Wow! So quick? A co-worker is a wedding dj/keyboards/bassist/80's fanatic. I dig the 80's...if anything it'd help me learn my own voice and style. Kind of like learning how to spell and punctuate before I write a book - something I did before. He told me in the future he'd like to give me an audition. I asked him to give me a song to practice and he gave me The Cure: Just Like Heaven.

Cool. Here we go. Practice, Practice and more practice

I've copy and pasted the lyrics below

The Cure: Just Like Heaven
"show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"the one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck"show me how you do it
And i promise you i promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways i had
To make her glow"why are you so far away?" she said
"why won't you ever know that i'm in love with you
That i'm in love with you"
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
YouStrange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl i loved
And drowned her deep inside of me
YouSoft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

MyCrochip Factory

2006-06-01T15:39:00.000-07:00

Don't touch anything and stay in line.
This glass encased room holds in the air.
Watch your step as you come inside
and be mindful of the robots that are everywhere.

Put on the suits that are hanging on that wall.
You’ll notice that we keep this area nice and cold.
Now, these glasses will help protect you all
from those lasers designed to steal your souls.

Welcome to my, my, my, my, Mycrochip Factory
Where you’ll find, oh you’ll find, find, find,
All sorts of semiconductor technology
Only in my, my, my, my, Mycrochip factory
You can find, yeah you’ll find, find, find
The latest in transistor circuitry.

Here’s where our scientist develop the master plan
They program all the robots from behind those doors.
And over here we make our own blenders,
calculator keypads and our own office hores.

If you look right up ahead

You’ll notice our ingenious gadgets all around the room
They’re created for to do things for you instead

Some items will be in the store very soon.

DON’T TOUCH THAT BUTTON!!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
YOU’VE MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE
EVERYBODY RUN!

What’s happening to my, my, my, my, Mycrochip Factory
Where you can find, oh you can find, find, find
Plenty of semiconductor technology
Only in my, my, my, my, Mycrochip factory
You could find, yeah you could find, find, find
The latest in transistor circuitry
NO ROBOT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

I'm Proud to be a Scatter Brained Freak

2006-05-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

I've always been a scatter brained freak. Always shifting my focus to different things. Always looking for the next big creative thing that I could do. Before I discovered television production, I was on my way becoming a musician. I was playing unrehearsed, embarrassing gigs at dive bars when I landed an internship and immediately fell in love with it. It was exactly what I was looking for, new concepts every day, new focus almost every minute...But at least it was the same medium. I miss it.

But do I?

You see, I turned to different media forms after I was excluded from television, shortly after a lay off. I wrote a book. Then after discovering how much grammar and writing practice I needed, I decided to start writing magazine articles. Then, after my skills became regarded by local, regional and national editors... I began to throw it all away because of an ego (only a newbie writer could obtain), combined with my lack of financial stability and the creative exhaustion, when I returned back into the television world, assigned to producing a local television show.

Being out of the television medium for almost 6 months has once again launched me into a scurry of searching for an new one. Readers of this blog will notice my attempt to make designs for people to wear. I've pissed off people, I've made people laugh and I've discovered some of the local and global issues that really slap the nerves of some folks. It was fun. It was dangerous. It was fun because it was dangerous. The Internet is definitely a medium I'm interested in learning more about. But I realized very soon that the shirts were merely a creative band-aid. I grew bored of it...Then discovered pod casting and completely fucked that up. Then I wanted to start a business and midway through my business plan I returned back to writing a book about my fascination about rock n' roll and my very strange rendevous with a international rock star.

Then I go to a few really good concerts and all of the sudden I want to become a musician again...

What the FUCK!!!!!! Am I crazy? Back to where I started over 10 years ago, before I accepted an internship at the television station. I drive my friends, family, wife, dog, cats and myself batty with my endless pursuit of finding a perfect medium.

I'm not upset about it though. I'm happy that I'm still hungry for more. If I wasn't, I'd probably be dead. I've learned a lot over the years while searching for the perfect medium that there is no such thing as a perfect medium. The best chance I have to be happy with my creativity is if I choose either web, television, writing or music and apply the lessons from the mistakes of my past.

It's never to late to begin again. It's actually nice having a fresh start. Which ever door I choose in my immediate future...you can expect me to be there for a while, making smarter moves.

More Pics of the Lips and Beck

2006-05-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

A fellow concert goer took this photo with me as the monkey and posted it on his flicker site.

He took a lot of cool shots of both Beck and the Lips... check em' out.

Rockin' Weekend

2006-05-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

photo taken by BrENda at Flaming Lips Concert

So far I've been to seven concerts at the Les Schwab Amphitheater in Bend, Oregon; Lyle Lovette, Willie Nelson, The Pixies, Bob Dylan, The Beach Boys, Beck and The Flaming Lips. If I were to rank the which concert rocked Bend the most, it'd be.

1. Beck - The puppet show was amazing, original and the crowd's energy was huge. I loved the multi-media presentation and the sound was amazing.

2. Willie Nelson - The crowd is what made this concert so fantastic. Willie has an amazing draw of different types of people. Hippies love him, Rockers love him, Indies love him, and Country folks love him. All Willie needed to do was be Wille.

3. The Pixies - This was a great concert. Had a lot of energy and the band sounded great. I saw them again at the Sasquatch festival and in my opinion the smaller venue in Bend was more enjoyable to experience. The crowd was not as hyped as Beck or Wille Nelson.

4. The Flaming Lips - This was personally the most fun concert I went to at LS amp. I went with my wife and friends and I was dressed in a gorilla suit, feeling as if I was a part of the concert, not merely paying for a ticket and consuming what was fed to me. Although I was hot, I got a lot of pats on the back and appreciation for what I was doing from folks the crowd. The Flaming Lips lived up to their showmanship reputation. Wacky and fun. They were incredibly humble before and during the performance, sitting on the stage during the opening acts, waving to me and signing autographs for another fan during their own gig. The crowd was smaller and a little milder. It was a Sunday and felt like a mini-burning man.

5. Lyle Lovette - I liked this concert because it was one of those "miracle ticket" times. I didn't by a ticket and was riding a bike around the grounds when someone walked up to me and gave me one. The crowd was great and my mood was celebratory for the ticket.

6. The Beach Boys - This was a fun concert. Smaller crowd. It was fun to enjoy the sounds of this band.

7. Bob Dylan - I had a good time at this concert. It wasn't what I was hoping it'd be though. Not old Bob's fault, his voice was a little raspier than usual. The crowd was into it but not as hyped as the Lyle's and definitely not as hyped as Wille's.

Bigfoot Spotted Downtown Bend

2006-05-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

We were walking down Wall street when I spotted this Yeti. Definitely a young one, only standing maybe 6 feet tall on a balcony eating the flowers off of the hanging basket and looking at the traffic below. I wish I had my 6 Meg cannon on me. Damn it! So far I've collected 20 pictures of this tribe. This was the first time I saw one in broad day light, 10:30 AM, Downtown at a condo. They are getting bold and restless.

I'll continue to unravel the truth about this phenomenon.

5

2006-05-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

five

Pay to drive to Bend

2006-05-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

Some day you'll have to enter in your key pad number and wave to the security guard as you enter Bend. I often joked with my friends that Bend has so many gated-communities, the idea would eventually rub off, motivating council elects to establish Bend as the first gated-city.

There's been talk about expanding hwy 97 to a four laner and paying for it by having toll booths. I knew it was only a matter of time before this would come up.

The reality of traveling to Bend, Oregon is there are limited (especially during the winter) ways to get here. You can drive from the south, from the north and the east, or you could fly in. That's it. No interstate here. In a way it's like an hour glass, limiting the flow of people driving to Bend, which could be a good thing as much as it is bad.

I can see how a two lane highway would ease up the congestion a bit. Nothing is more frustrating than being stuck behind an eighteen wheeler or stopping because of an accident up the road.

I am not, however; a huge fan of paying a toll booth to get back home. If it meant higher taxes, then I'd choose the lesser of two evils.

What I think they should do is put a train, (like the MAX in Portland) to run down the center of the highway to the Columbia River and to California. I'd ride it, rather than drive.

It'd be cleaner, it'd reduce the traffic and it'd be fun for visitors. It'd also cost a lot of money

Any thoughts on this subject?

My Co-worker is strange

2006-05-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of seeing my coworker walk around the office without any clothes on. I mean, COME ON! Nobody wants to see your horribly out of shape body.

Maybe by posting this photo in my blog he'll get embarrassed and stop. On the other hand, he is doing this for attention, we all know that for sure.

help...

30 something

2006-05-04T15:51:00.000-07:00

I know I'm in my 30s because:

Both my credit score and cholesterol level are getting higher than normal.

I'm getting tired at 10 pm.

I'm waking up earlier, showing my neighbors the "ass crack of dawn."

I shed more hair than my dog and cats combined when I take a shower.

The coffee shop chick says, "have a good day...sir" after she gives me my order. Bitch.

Sugar Daddy Material

2006-05-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

Money...Helping ugly people get some, for centuries.

I made this design for those who want to send it to their friend who's desperately looking for a sugar daddy.

Any of you folks have some Sugar Daddy stories to share?

Modest Mouse coming to Bend

2006-05-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Wow! Just heard that Modest Mouse will be playing at Les Schwab Amphitheatre this August.

YEAAAAAAHHHH!

United Way Day of Caring

2006-04-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

I felt good to support the United Way this morning with my employer. We helped a local non-profit with landscaping. It was a beautiful day to do it, that's for sure!

Flaming Lips Coming to Bend

2006-04-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

31 days until The Flaming Lips come to Bend. I'm Excited. As of late, I've become a very big fan of the band and their style. The latest album really hits the note for me right now.

I watched this video the other day. It's their yah yah song and it's friggin' hilarious. I really like the message of this song, "with all your power what would you do?" It slams those who abuse their power and empowers those who feel as if they don't have any.

I made this shirt to rhyme with that thought...It's a battery on the front with the question on the back.

What's your power level? Are you going dead or are you fully charged? What do you do to recharge yourself?

Central Oregon Murder Mystery

2006-04-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

I ran across this book that's going to be released early next week. It really sparked my interest.

Karla Starr from Willamette Week Online Quotes:

"When the truck rolled over my body, my right upper arm broke and the flesh was shredded by tire treads; my right lung collapsed, my right collarbone fractured and overlapped; the right side of my rib cage was crushed and the lowest ribs cracked in half. The rain of blows from the hatchet left two-inch gashes all over my scalp, a broken nose, and a chip in the skull over my left eye. One of the bones in my left forearm was sliced through, the fleshy part of my left palm was slashed, and my little finger was broken."
-Strange Piece of Paradise, page 85.

YIKES!

According to the synopsis:

Author Terri Jentz was a Yale student biking cross-country during the summer of 1977 when she and her roommate were attacked by an axe-wielding cowboy while camping in Oregon. Jentz escaped with a gashed arm, while her friend was nearly blinded from head injuries. Fifteen years later, in 1992, Jentz returns to the scene of the attack to repair the psychic wound and attempt to close the case.

I'd love to read your comments about the book after you read it.

Bend House Flippers

2006-04-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

Is it hip to flip Bend, Oregon Real Estate, or what? People are coming in and buying something to make a hundred gees, while folks like me who want to live here, vote here and support local vendors and charities, feel as if we're in the friggin' stock market..."sell sell sell Martha!"

Well, I guess it's not all Californians and New Yorkers who participate in the gamble, there are also a lot of locals who House Flip. In my opinion (and current financial situation), it's way too risky to flip. Call me a wussy, but I what I fear is: Underestimating the cost to remodel a shack. Falling in love with a shack that won't go anywhere. Overpaying for a shack. And, not fully knowing where or what the market is going to be like for my shack when I sell it.

Are any of you House Flippers? Any stories of success? Devastating failure?

River Boozer

2006-04-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

A friend reminded me about a new term coined by The Bulletin, "River Boozers," people who float down the deschutes river at Mirror Pond, downing a flask of rum or chuggin a beer. But...who are these strange creatures? I have a couple theories: Remember those old Rainer beer commercials with herds of roaming beer bottles that nobody could catch. Is that what a River Boozer is, but on a raft?

Or, are they people from AA who are searching for their inner-tube?

I'm also going to start posting podcasts that I record during my dog's poop/walk.

My first BlogCast

2006-04-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day!

I recorded my first blogcast today. Thanks for listening.

Hey Lebowski, dude...It's 4-20

2006-04-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a Lebowski fan. I wish I could go to this in May.

I want to go bowling after drinking white Russians. I want to encourage my landlord in his/her play. I want to throw a ringer at the now spokes person for Volkswagen who flings cars with his fake German accent...jahhhh.

The dude abides here in Bend. When you get tired of sniffin' store-fresh milk, you guys should have your festival in Oregon. I've got friends who have the key to the city on their wall. Until then, here's a tee to commemorate the pissed on rug.

Bend Extraterrestrial Map

2006-04-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

Roundabouts have truly become a solid part of Bend's Culture. Little did we all know, it's made a few celestial beings very happy. They no longer need to brainwash local farmers during abductions, forcing them to cut crop circles so they can fly their space ships in the right direction. That's right...Now, because of the roundabout formations, they can navigate to the hidden mother ship, cleverly disguised as a volcanic mound on the South Sister.

I made this tee for the "others" whom also live, play and work in Bend.

Don't Burn Your Bridges... Just Blow em' up!

2006-04-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

If you heard; "it all started by adding a vicious circle that seemed to multiply into hundreds of circles all over me and now I'm cut off from the only direction I know," you'd probably think you were overhearing a poor and abused soul who was discussing their personal problems to a psychologist.

Well, maybe - but you'll most likely hear it from a confused and frustrated westside Bend commuter, wondering how they are going to survive without the Newport Bridge. I even heard that if you walk across the line you're subject to a ticket.

I made this tee for those cynical people who like the fact that Bend's streets are replicating the effect of high cholesterol on your body. Things just get plugged up and the pressure gets pretty high....my advice to those who experience road rage in the heat of the summer is stay away from that part of Bend.

The Bend Barfy

2006-04-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

I have absolutely no problem with the people who hang out all night in the Bend, Oregon Bar scene. In my younger years I was among them, exploring the realms of my alcohol tolerance. I just think that it's funny how territorial some people get when you, as a newcomer to a fine establishment can unexpectedly violate their ownership rights of their barstool.

Hey, I know that you've donated most, if not all of your unemployment check to the bar, but that doesn't mean you own the chair next to the Oregon Lottery sponge machine.

I made this for you buddy. Yeah, the guy who moved my jacket and pushed my beer away when I went to the hombres room. That's when you reclaimed your corner stool, where you resumed your nightly people watching activities while sitting in the shadows under the smoke and the Budweiser neon sign.

I'm the Drake Park Goose Whisperer

2006-04-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

Has any one seen National Geographic's Dog Whisperer. You know, that guy named Cesar who tames the wildest of canines simply by raising his hand and shushing...chhht...chhht.

I tried it on my dog and I'm sorry to say it has no effect on my dog aside making him think I'm going to wipe something on him.

It does, however, work on the Geese in Drake Park. Simply raise your hand to eye level and while pushing it out over the gooses' head go..."chhht...chhht," and watch the goose stare at you with amazement and curiosity. They will be at your full control. I'm training my small flock to dive poop-bomb the people who are forced to cross the foot bridge, now that Newport Bridge is out of commission.

Do you think National Geographic will give me a series?

It will go away if I ignore it

2006-04-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

How can you poke fun at apathetic people? I mean, it's not as if they'll actually care if you do it or not.

All you can do is call them a frigin' loser and urge your neighbor not to become one.

I made this tee for those who want to make a statement to their fellow Bendites to not become an apathetic loser, you know... the ones who only own property in Bend, live somewhere else and don't give a rat's butt about our educational system, the city nor its people.

Rain, Snow or Shine...I'm biking to work.

2006-04-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

I love biking to work. Not because I'm saving a fortune in gas, not because of the sweet jump I clear every morning, not because I love racing suv's down bond street, leaving them in a rage because they are stuck in traffic, because I love the feeling I have after I finish my ride.

When you ride your bike you always feel like a kid. You feel good about yourself. You don't take anything away from earth...you give.

I made this tee for those who enjoy riding their bike to work. It's not a choice, it's a lifestyle.

Poverty with a View 2

2006-04-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Mr. Poverty, who lives in Bend, has one of the best views in the state of Oregon.

I predict

2006-04-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

that someday in American history that an Oregon born person will be President of the United States of America, and will be known as one of the best.

Please, don't let Bend Become this....

2006-04-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

How to Make a Bendite

2006-04-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Just add Beer.

I made this tee for a good friend who stumbled into town last night from Seattle. Met up with him at Deschutes Brewery and caught up. Last time I saw him was at my wedding. After sampling the new Inversion IPA, we walked to my new pad where my wife was watching Gilmore Girls (yuck).

Thanks to a buddy, we hooked him up with a pass at Mt. Bachelor for his anticipated snowboarding adventure that he drove all the way over here for.

Well Officer... I can explain,

2006-04-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

It all started when I met this dude named Joey...

Joey works as one of twelve crewmen on board a survey ship that visits and maps planets in an ever expanding place called Earth. They meet a "Purple Man" that is left over from a civilization 4000 years ago and can change shape at will in its efforts to take over the space ship. The battle is won when the Purple Man does not realize, until it's too late, that Radical is a computer and thus not subject to mind control. Some of the ship's crew try out Trance-Port tapes that give you a dream girlfriend that users of the tapes believe are real. The end results are unsettling when two crewmembers end up with the same lady. The crew has a run-in with automated homing torpedoes from a centuries ago civilization. The chances and odds as they need to hit the exact same torpedo twice out of a swarm of 368 and they have 28 shots left. They run into a civilization that travels in time as casually as we do in three-dimensional space. A military ship comes along and believes they can kidnap one of the time travelers but everyone gets hit by a "time bomb" and dropped millions of years into the past along with a portal that will allow two people to go back to normal time. Joey ends up being one of the two. Then they run into a "Swindlestar" where they end up shrinking into nothingness. But, it turns out they are now larger than the universe and by adjusting the ship's center of gravity they are able to steer themselves back into their spot in the normal universe and Joey then retires after 20 years.

Dude Joey...cough...cough...man where did you say you got this stuff? Joey..? --Joey? Hey what's with the handcuffs?

Time after Time

2006-04-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

"Time after time those fanatical minds try to rule all the world. Telling us all it's them who's in charge of it all."

The W.A.N.D., The Flaming Lips

Love that song and I can't wait till' they come to Bend.

COCC StairMasters

2006-04-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

Why is it when people see a person fall we tend to cover our mouth and groan out with an, "ohhh..." Then after realizing that they're okay we bolt out laughing?

That happened to me a few times when I attended Central Oregon Community College (seemingly decades ago). The school is built on a hill side, with long - relentless stairs leading to each building. Seemed like there was always a student slipping and tumbling back down to the bottom. I made this tee to remind those to look out below!

Stuck on Mt. Bachelor's Chair Lift

2006-04-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

It really sucks when the Pine Martin, Sunrise or Rainbow chair stops. The first thing that goes through you mind (while being pounded with the currents of a winter blizzard) is, "alright, who's the newbie who doesn't know how to get off?" After about five minutes you've already learned everything you ever wanted to about the other person who's sitting next to you. After about ten minutes you're looking at the snow below, guessing the odds of making an injury-free jump. After about twenty-minutes, you're hands begin to tingle with frostbite and your smelly neighbor suggests avoiding hypothermia by cuddling. After thirty minutes the chair begins to finally move.

Then it stops because of some newbie who doesn't know how to get off.

Have you experienced anything like this? Here's a tee to express your joy. Thanks bRenda for the inspiration.

The Best Thing about being a former media person is

2006-04-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

Not being in the media anymore.

Things You'll Find in Bend's Home Depot

2006-04-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

You'll find a few feminists.

You'll also find a few low-odor goof offs walking around the store...

with plenty of hand goop...

Jelly for your Naval...

and Red Splices for you Butt...

perfect with a new European Bottom Mount apparatus...

You'll also finde a stud sensor...

so you can use the Impregnator.

2006-04-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

One of my visitors, Snowbuggie, suggested a design earlier this week.

You need a t-shirt about the Westsiders who want to put all the shit on the East side... you know, the Verizon tower, the dump, the big box stores... those Not in my backyard folks!

Well,
Not that I would ever wear one -- get my ass kicked --- Riiiiight.

You able to put 'em on coffee cups?

......

Thank you so much for the suggestion Snowbuggie! This is a Bend Compass, (looks kind of like the ABC's "Lost" map) highlighting the locations of things on our island.

New and Improved Lawyer-proof Design

2006-04-06T15:38:00.001-07:00

I had to take my former design back to the drawing board because of the issues that rose to the surface earlier this week about me using a celebrity's identity without his permission. I decided to conceel my cartoon's identity so there's absolutely no way someone at KTVZ would think that it's him. Because, he's not, his name is Luiz Sanchez and he's an hispanic morning weather person, featured locally on Univision.

What's a Parody?

2006-04-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed how much attention has sparked from my issue of design "cock-blocking" in my little village called Bend, Oregon. I've got hits from the Associated Press, the Chicago Tribune and have been re-posted on an underground media site and blogged locally by popular and notorious local blogs.

Even though I've got a degree from the University of Oregon in Journalism, with a major in Electronic Media, I still need a refresher on what I can do and what I can not do. I'm a creative professional and it's not only smart to explore this area...it's almost required.

Let's say that I wanted to make fun of Starbucks Coffee and I made a design that looked like this:

Could Starbucks take me to court on grounds of intellectual Property violation? Well, according to Stanford University, what I did was under the "fair use freedom" where the belief that the public is entitled to freely use portions of copyrighted materials forpurposes of commentary and criticism. I would not be in violation of intellectual Property because I'm creating a parody: A parody is a work that ridicules another, usually well-known work, by imitating it in a comic way. Judges understand that by its nature, parody demands some taking from the original work being parodied. Unlike other forms of fair use, a fairly extensive use of the original work is permitted in a parody in order to "conjure up" the original.

That's the basis of my T-Shirt Shop, commentary and criticisms of town that's under the false pretense that everything is perfect.

Did you know that in terms of Rape, burglary and Theft the crime rate of Bend, Oregon shadows the crime rate of Los Angeles? Well, it was in 2004 according to areaconnect.com.

So, critics...Do the METH. This town is in serious trouble. And the more we turn our heads away from real life issues and the more we shun away societal humor because we don't want anyone to see our cities' skeletons, the faster those real life issues and the skeletons bite us on the ass.

Ahh!! My Wife Needs a Xanax

2006-04-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

Boy...It's been a wild ride the past few days. My wife and I moved into a new pad downtown Bend. I decided to sacrifice my car with the gas, maintenance and insurance and throw that money into a better place to rent.

Some of our friends were very gracious, helping us move out of the old into the new. It's been fabulous.

My wife said something really funny this weekend when we all were having a pizza/beer break. She looked up to the ceiling and said, "AHH! Where's my Xanax?"
We all laughed and a friend suggested a tee to commemorate the moment, suggesting the "Have you met my husband yet?" to me.

So this one is for you my love.

KTVZ sends a Lawyer after my T-shirt Shop

2006-04-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

I recieved this email this morning:

In accordance with our Intellectual Property Rights Policy, anonymous Lawyer on behalf of KTVZ-Z21 provided us with a notice stating that your use of the likeness of Bob Shaw and his catch phrase infringes upon their intellectual property rights (right of publicity). Please click here to for more information about intellectual property.

I responded to the lawyer, who I will keep anonymous in this blog post, saying this.

Dear anonymous Lawyer,

I took down a cartoon a couple weeks ago that your client says resembles Bob Shaw, before you sent your request to cafepress. Honestly, the design wasn't doing anything for my sales, I didn't sell a single shirt or mug. Rarely did anyone clicked on the image. I, doing this to develop a stronger feel in my own career as a marketer in product development, decided to move the comedy subject matter to something that might actually sell products for my online t-shirt venture. Wow...turns out that someone found it very interesting!

I received a notice today from cafepress.com that I've violated the Intellectual Property Rights (rights of publicity) from the cartoon. After reading the deeper into it I understand why this is an issue for this local celebrity and have made a point of not selling merchandise without the celebrities written consent. I'm approaching a few celebrities, local and national, for their approval, one has agreed! After all, I am doing this for fun. It's called humor folks.

You know what this reminds me of? this and this

My question to you is: Does KTVZ own the rights to "I'm having a sparkling day in Central Oregon?" Not according to my research. Why is that removed? As far as I'm concerned he can say "have a sparkling day," 40 thousand times, but until I see a registered trademark on the phrase...he doesn't own it.

If they do own it:

You should tell your client to go after this guy. They should also go after Swatch.,

Thanks for your time and expressing your concern of your client. Please feel free to contact me if you or your client has any further issues with my comedy's content.

Power to the people

Final Four T-Shirt Winner

2006-04-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Brad who won Utterly Boring's March Madness pick'em contest. In March, before the contest began I agreed to provide a tee of choice to the winner of the competion.

Homersolo chose my Fishing with Jesus design on this type of shirt.

New Ideas, new direction

2006-03-31T15:00:00.000-08:00

I've been racking my brain on a new concept. I'm developing a new website, applying a business model to it. I'd like to launch it this summer, during the height of t-shirt season.

Until then, I'm still coming up with new T-shirt, mug and sticker designs in, for and about Bend, Oregon. If anyone has any ideas or areas that they'd like me to create a design about, by all means, let me know.

A shout out goes to the folks who bought my stuff in March!

Practical Joke #175 Volcano team in Bend

2006-03-27T16:44:00.000-08:00

So you and your friends are planning on visiting Bend soon? Imagine going into a local pub, say Deschutes Brewery, and all of you had this shirt on.

While all of you enjoy a refreshing brew, you'll be entertained as you watch the people sitting around you point, whisper and stare at you and your heroic team. But if anyone asks you about the shirt say, "sorry, we're not allowed to give out any information at this time."

The tension level in the room with escalate, just like a Pacific Northwestern volcano!

Staying Spicy

2006-03-26T15:33:00.000-08:00

I spent a good portion last year writing articles for local and regional magazines, promoting Bend, Oregon. I had a wonderful time exploring what the city has to offer. I enjoyed meeting the artist, the visionaries the undiscovered gems who make the town shine.

I remember interviewing a chef about his restaurant about this time last year. He talked about the direction of the culinary arts in Bend. "If you serve spicy food, like Cajun, stick to your guns, stay Cajun" he said as I sat in his office scribbling every word in my note pad. "Who cares if a larger portion of your clients want it a little milder." He stood up pointing to me, "STAY SPICY."

I'm following this advice. My t-shirt designs will remain spicy.

Thanks to all who have posted and backed up my concerns as of late.

I'm Banned in Bend

2006-03-25T15:27:00.000-08:00

It's a sad day. I had plans on selling some of my designs this summer for fun at the Bend Summer Festival, Bend Fall Festival and Munch & Music. I decided to ask if I could participate in the jury selection and this is what C3 events wrote:

Thanks for your inquiry. While we can appreciate the humor in your artwork, the purpose of the festivals is to promote Bend in a positive manner and introduce artists artwork to the community. My guess is the jurying committee would not select your work for admission, even though we all can find the humor in it.I appreciate your checking with us first. Good luck in your promotion of your products.

Man, whatta bummer. I do understand this event promoter's position. By allowing me to participate would put the group's sponsorship money at risk. But...it still doesn't feel good. Banned....Censored...Prohibited to express.

Any ideas on where I can sell my shirts aside online?