30 something

I know I'm in my 30s because:

Both my credit score and cholesterol level are getting higher than normal.

I'm getting tired at 10 pm.

I'm waking up earlier, showing my neighbors the "ass crack of dawn."

I shed more hair than my dog and cats combined when I take a shower.

The coffee shop chick says, "have a good day...sir" after she gives me my order. Bitch.