United Way Day of Caring

I felt good to support the United Way this morning with my employer. We helped a local non-profit with landscaping. It was a beautiful day to do it, that's for sure!

Flaming Lips Coming to Bend

31 days until The Flaming Lips come to Bend. I'm Excited. As of late, I've become a very big fan of the band and their style. The latest album really hits the note for me right now.

I watched this video the other day. It's their yah yah song and it's friggin' hilarious. I really like the message of this song, "with all your power what would you do?" It slams those who abuse their power and empowers those who feel as if they don't have any.

I made this shirt to rhyme with that thought...It's a battery on the front with the question on the back.

What's your power level? Are you going dead or are you fully charged? What do you do to recharge yourself?

Central Oregon Murder Mystery

I ran across this book that's going to be released early next week. It really sparked my interest.

Karla Starr from Willamette Week Online Quotes:

"When the truck rolled over my body, my right upper arm broke and the flesh was shredded by tire treads; my right lung collapsed, my right collarbone fractured and overlapped; the right side of my rib cage was crushed and the lowest ribs cracked in half. The rain of blows from the hatchet left two-inch gashes all over my scalp, a broken nose, and a chip in the skull over my left eye. One of the bones in my left forearm was sliced through, the fleshy part of my left palm was slashed, and my little finger was broken."
-Strange Piece of Paradise, page 85.

YIKES!

According to the synopsis:

Author Terri Jentz was a Yale student biking cross-country during the summer of 1977 when she and her roommate were attacked by an axe-wielding cowboy while camping in Oregon. Jentz escaped with a gashed arm, while her friend was nearly blinded from head injuries. Fifteen years later, in 1992, Jentz returns to the scene of the attack to repair the psychic wound and attempt to close the case.

I'd love to read your comments about the book after you read it.

Bend House Flippers

Is it hip to flip Bend, Oregon Real Estate, or what? People are coming in and buying something to make a hundred gees, while folks like me who want to live here, vote here and support local vendors and charities, feel as if we're in the friggin' stock market..."sell sell sell Martha!"

Well, I guess it's not all Californians and New Yorkers who participate in the gamble, there are also a lot of locals who House Flip. In my opinion (and current financial situation), it's way too risky to flip. Call me a wussy, but I what I fear is: Underestimating the cost to remodel a shack. Falling in love with a shack that won't go anywhere. Overpaying for a shack. And, not fully knowing where or what the market is going to be like for my shack when I sell it.

Are any of you House Flippers? Any stories of success? Devastating failure?

River Boozer

A friend reminded me about a new term coined by The Bulletin, "River Boozers," people who float down the deschutes river at Mirror Pond, downing a flask of rum or chuggin a beer. But...who are these strange creatures? I have a couple theories: Remember those old Rainer beer commercials with herds of roaming beer bottles that nobody could catch. Is that what a River Boozer is, but on a raft?

Or, are they people from AA who are searching for their inner-tube?

I'm also going to start posting podcasts that I record during my dog's poop/walk.

My first BlogCast

Happy Earth Day!


I recorded my first blogcast today. Thanks for listening.

Hey Lebowski, dude...It's 4-20

I'm a Lebowski fan. I wish I could go to this in May.

I want to go bowling after drinking white Russians. I want to encourage my landlord in his/her play. I want to throw a ringer at the now spokes person for Volkswagen who flings cars with his fake German accent...jahhhh.

The dude abides here in Bend. When you get tired of sniffin' store-fresh milk, you guys should have your festival in Oregon. I've got friends who have the key to the city on their wall. Until then, here's a tee to commemorate the pissed on rug.

Bend Extraterrestrial Map

Roundabouts have truly become a solid part of Bend's Culture. Little did we all know, it's made a few celestial beings very happy. They no longer need to brainwash local farmers during abductions, forcing them to cut crop circles so they can fly their space ships in the right direction. That's right...Now, because of the roundabout formations, they can navigate to the hidden mother ship, cleverly disguised as a volcanic mound on the South Sister.

I made this tee for the "others" whom also live, play and work in Bend.

Don't Burn Your Bridges... Just Blow em' up!

If you heard; "it all started by adding a vicious circle that seemed to multiply into hundreds of circles all over me and now I'm cut off from the only direction I know," you'd probably think you were overhearing a poor and abused soul who was discussing their personal problems to a psychologist.

Well, maybe - but you'll most likely hear it from a confused and frustrated westside Bend commuter, wondering how they are going to survive without the Newport Bridge. I even heard that if you walk across the line you're subject to a ticket.

I made this tee for those cynical people who like the fact that Bend's streets are replicating the effect of high cholesterol on your body. Things just get plugged up and the pressure gets pretty high....my advice to those who experience road rage in the heat of the summer is stay away from that part of Bend.

The Bend Barfy

I have absolutely no problem with the people who hang out all night in the Bend, Oregon Bar scene. In my younger years I was among them, exploring the realms of my alcohol tolerance. I just think that it's funny how territorial some people get when you, as a newcomer to a fine establishment can unexpectedly violate their ownership rights of their barstool.

Hey, I know that you've donated most, if not all of your unemployment check to the bar, but that doesn't mean you own the chair next to the Oregon Lottery sponge machine.

I made this for you buddy. Yeah, the guy who moved my jacket and pushed my beer away when I went to the hombres room. That's when you reclaimed your corner stool, where you resumed your nightly people watching activities while sitting in the shadows under the smoke and the Budweiser neon sign.

I'm the Drake Park Goose Whisperer

Has any one seen National Geographic's Dog Whisperer. You know, that guy named Cesar who tames the wildest of canines simply by raising his hand and shushing...chhht...chhht.

I tried it on my dog and I'm sorry to say it has no effect on my dog aside making him think I'm going to wipe something on him.

It does, however, work on the Geese in Drake Park. Simply raise your hand to eye level and while pushing it out over the gooses' head go..."chhht...chhht," and watch the goose stare at you with amazement and curiosity. They will be at your full control. I'm training my small flock to dive poop-bomb the people who are forced to cross the foot bridge, now that Newport Bridge is out of commission.

Do you think National Geographic will give me a series?

It will go away if I ignore it

How can you poke fun at apathetic people? I mean, it's not as if they'll actually care if you do it or not.

All you can do is call them a frigin' loser and urge your neighbor not to become one.

I made this tee for those who want to make a statement to their fellow Bendites to not become an apathetic loser, you know... the ones who only own property in Bend, live somewhere else and don't give a rat's butt about our educational system, the city nor its people.

Rain, Snow or Shine...I'm biking to work.

I love biking to work. Not because I'm saving a fortune in gas, not because of the sweet jump I clear every morning, not because I love racing suv's down bond street, leaving them in a rage because they are stuck in traffic, because I love the feeling I have after I finish my ride.

When you ride your bike you always feel like a kid. You feel good about yourself. You don't take anything away from earth...you give.

I made this tee for those who enjoy riding their bike to work. It's not a choice, it's a lifestyle.

Poverty with a View 2

Mr. Poverty, who lives in Bend, has one of the best views in the state of Oregon.

I predict

that someday in American history that an Oregon born person will be President of the United States of America, and will be known as one of the best.

Please, don't let Bend Become this....

How to Make a Bendite

Just add Beer.

I made this tee for a good friend who stumbled into town last night from Seattle. Met up with him at Deschutes Brewery and caught up. Last time I saw him was at my wedding. After sampling the new Inversion IPA, we walked to my new pad where my wife was watching Gilmore Girls (yuck).

Thanks to a buddy, we hooked him up with a pass at Mt. Bachelor for his anticipated snowboarding adventure that he drove all the way over here for.

Well Officer... I can explain,

It all started when I met this dude named Joey...

Joey works as one of twelve crewmen on board a survey ship that visits and maps planets in an ever expanding place called Earth. They meet a "Purple Man" that is left over from a civilization 4000 years ago and can change shape at will in its efforts to take over the space ship. The battle is won when the Purple Man does not realize, until it's too late, that Radical is a computer and thus not subject to mind control. Some of the ship's crew try out Trance-Port tapes that give you a dream girlfriend that users of the tapes believe are real. The end results are unsettling when two crewmembers end up with the same lady. The crew has a run-in with automated homing torpedoes from a centuries ago civilization. The chances and odds as they need to hit the exact same torpedo twice out of a swarm of 368 and they have 28 shots left. They run into a civilization that travels in time as casually as we do in three-dimensional space. A military ship comes along and believes they can kidnap one of the time travelers but everyone gets hit by a "time bomb" and dropped millions of years into the past along with a portal that will allow two people to go back to normal time. Joey ends up being one of the two. Then they run into a "Swindlestar" where they end up shrinking into nothingness. But, it turns out they are now larger than the universe and by adjusting the ship's center of gravity they are able to steer themselves back into their spot in the normal universe and Joey then retires after 20 years.

Dude Joey...cough...cough...man where did you say you got this stuff? Joey..? --Joey? Hey what's with the handcuffs?

Time after Time

"Time after time those fanatical minds try to rule all the world. Telling us all it's them who's in charge of it all."

The W.A.N.D., The Flaming Lips


Love that song and I can't wait till' they come to Bend.

COCC StairMasters

Why is it when people see a person fall we tend to cover our mouth and groan out with an, "ohhh..." Then after realizing that they're okay we bolt out laughing?

That happened to me a few times when I attended Central Oregon Community College (seemingly decades ago). The school is built on a hill side, with long - relentless stairs leading to each building. Seemed like there was always a student slipping and tumbling back down to the bottom. I made this tee to remind those to look out below!

Stuck on Mt. Bachelor's Chair Lift

It really sucks when the Pine Martin, Sunrise or Rainbow chair stops. The first thing that goes through you mind (while being pounded with the currents of a winter blizzard) is, "alright, who's the newbie who doesn't know how to get off?" After about five minutes you've already learned everything you ever wanted to about the other person who's sitting next to you. After about ten minutes you're looking at the snow below, guessing the odds of making an injury-free jump. After about twenty-minutes, you're hands begin to tingle with frostbite and your smelly neighbor suggests avoiding hypothermia by cuddling. After thirty minutes the chair begins to finally move.

Then it stops because of some newbie who doesn't know how to get off.


Have you experienced anything like this? Here's a tee to express your joy. Thanks bRenda for the inspiration.

The Best Thing about being a former media person is

Not being in the media anymore.

Things You'll Find in Bend's Home Depot

You'll find a few feminists.
















You'll also find a few low-odor goof offs walking around the store...
















with plenty of hand goop...
















Jelly for your Naval...
















and Red Splices for you Butt...












perfect with a new European Bottom Mount apparatus...
















You'll also finde a stud sensor...
















so you can use the Impregnator.

One of my visitors, Snowbuggie, suggested a design earlier this week.

You need a t-shirt about the Westsiders who want to put all the shit on the East side... you know, the Verizon tower, the dump, the big box stores... those Not in my backyard folks!

Well,
Not that I would ever wear one -- get my ass kicked --- Riiiiight.

You able to put 'em on coffee cups?

......

Thank you so much for the suggestion Snowbuggie! This is a Bend Compass, (looks kind of like the ABC's "Lost" map) highlighting the locations of things on our island.

New and Improved Lawyer-proof Design

I had to take my former design back to the drawing board because of the issues that rose to the surface earlier this week about me using a celebrity's identity without his permission. I decided to conceel my cartoon's identity so there's absolutely no way someone at KTVZ would think that it's him. Because, he's not, his name is Luiz Sanchez and he's an hispanic morning weather person, featured locally on Univision.

What's a Parody?

I'm amazed how much attention has sparked from my issue of design "cock-blocking" in my little village called Bend, Oregon. I've got hits from the Associated Press, the Chicago Tribune and have been re-posted on an underground media site and blogged locally by popular and notorious local blogs.

Even though I've got a degree from the University of Oregon in Journalism, with a major in Electronic Media, I still need a refresher on what I can do and what I can not do. I'm a creative professional and it's not only smart to explore this area...it's almost required.

Let's say that I wanted to make fun of Starbucks Coffee and I made a design that looked like this:

Could Starbucks take me to court on grounds of intellectual Property violation? Well, according to Stanford University, what I did was under the "fair use freedom" where the belief that the public is entitled to freely use portions of copyrighted materials forpurposes of commentary and criticism. I would not be in violation of intellectual Property because I'm creating a parody: A parody is a work that ridicules another, usually well-known work, by imitating it in a comic way. Judges understand that by its nature, parody demands some taking from the original work being parodied. Unlike other forms of fair use, a fairly extensive use of the original work is permitted in a parody in order to "conjure up" the original.

That's the basis of my T-Shirt Shop, commentary and criticisms of town that's under the false pretense that everything is perfect.

Did you know that in terms of Rape, burglary and Theft the crime rate of Bend, Oregon shadows the crime rate of Los Angeles? Well, it was in 2004 according to areaconnect.com.

So, critics...Do the METH. This town is in serious trouble. And the more we turn our heads away from real life issues and the more we shun away societal humor because we don't want anyone to see our cities' skeletons, the faster those real life issues and the skeletons bite us on the ass.

Ahh!! My Wife Needs a Xanax

Boy...It's been a wild ride the past few days. My wife and I moved into a new pad downtown Bend. I decided to sacrifice my car with the gas, maintenance and insurance and throw that money into a better place to rent.

Some of our friends were very gracious, helping us move out of the old into the new. It's been fabulous.

My wife said something really funny this weekend when we all were having a pizza/beer break. She looked up to the ceiling and said, "AHH! Where's my Xanax?"
We all laughed and a friend suggested a tee to commemorate the moment, suggesting the "Have you met my husband yet?" to me.

So this one is for you my love.

KTVZ sends a Lawyer after my T-shirt Shop

I recieved this email this morning:

In accordance with our Intellectual Property Rights Policy, anonymous Lawyer on behalf of KTVZ-Z21 provided us with a notice stating that your use of the likeness of Bob Shaw and his catch phrase infringes upon their intellectual property rights (right of publicity). Please click here to for more information about intellectual property.

I responded to the lawyer, who I will keep anonymous in this blog post, saying this.

Dear anonymous Lawyer,

I took down a cartoon a couple weeks ago that your client says resembles Bob Shaw, before you sent your request to cafepress. Honestly, the design wasn't doing anything for my sales, I didn't sell a single shirt or mug. Rarely did anyone clicked on the image. I, doing this to develop a stronger feel in my own career as a marketer in product development, decided to move the comedy subject matter to something that might actually sell products for my online t-shirt venture. Wow...turns out that someone found it very interesting!

I received a notice today from cafepress.com that I've violated the Intellectual Property Rights (rights of publicity) from the cartoon. After reading the deeper into it I understand why this is an issue for this local celebrity and have made a point of not selling merchandise without the celebrities written consent. I'm approaching a few celebrities, local and national, for their approval, one has agreed! After all, I am doing this for fun. It's called humor folks.

You know what this reminds me of? this and this

My question to you is: Does KTVZ own the rights to "I'm having a sparkling day in Central Oregon?" Not according to my research. Why is that removed? As far as I'm concerned he can say "have a sparkling day," 40 thousand times, but until I see a registered trademark on the phrase...he doesn't own it.

If they do own it:

You should tell your client to go after this guy. They should also go after Swatch.,

Thanks for your time and expressing your concern of your client. Please feel free to contact me if you or your client has any further issues with my comedy's content.

Power to the people

Final Four T-Shirt Winner

Congratulations to Brad who won Utterly Boring's March Madness pick'em contest. In March, before the contest began I agreed to provide a tee of choice to the winner of the competion.

Homersolo chose my Fishing with Jesus design on this type of shirt.